Salvation
by CHAILYN
Summary: Everyone wants to be saved. Series Of OneShots. a perfect circle. bobby was there, john wasn't. tag to NRFTW
1. Little Girls Are Foolish

**Little Girls Are Foolish**

Summary: And Mary makes Three.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for an obsession over the connection between Mary and Azazel.

--

Hell is like hell even for demons.

--

Meg grinned at him, and his insides squirmed.

"Hell, Dean?"

"Fuck you."

"Your demon face is prettier than Sam's."

He ignored it, he'd fought it hadn't he? He hadn't pussied out and ventured into fuckedinhell land.

The bitch was screwing with him because he wasn't any more of a demon then he was before the hounds dragged his ass to hell.

"I'm going to tear you apart and celebrate when your insides are on the outside."

"Told you so." She singsonged. "Daddy'll be so proud but your mommy's gonna _cry_."

Dean reached for her throat, his fingers tightening around until she was gasping for breath but damn it all, still grinning like she'd won and was crowned queen bitch of hell.

"My daddy. Its what he wanted all along."

Dean dropped her to the ground.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

--

_She's had visions her whole life. She can't even remember when they began, it seems to her like she's had them her entire life._

_She accepts it though. She sees things that she wishes she could chalk up to an over active imagination...but she knows that some of the things out there aren't as innocent as she wished they were._

_She deals because she's not going to let them get in her way, she's determined to have a normal life, with her husband and she's not going to let these visions ruin it._

_Maybe that's why she doesn't ever tell John about them._

_But when the dreams are about her son she has to do something._

--

"_I love you mommy." Dean said giving her a kiss on the cheek as she tucked him into bed._

_She's dreamed about the kinds of evil that most people can't even really fathom. _

_Her son takes the cake though._

_She's seen him grown up and the things he's done makes her blood run cold and she wonders if she can look at him the same way after watching rip the heads off of people and laugh. When she sees him kill his brother, she realizes something has to be done._

"_Love you forever." She told him, her regular good night to her son._

_--_

_The man with yellow eyes comes to her periodically, and this time she does it._

_Mary nods her head, "Fine. One year." Enough time for her to give birth to her baby and say goodbye. "And Dean...?"_

_"Will be a strikingly, pathetic, show of mediocrity."_

"_Okay." She closes her eyes, maybe one day her sons will understand and forgive her for what she's done._

"_Good girl Mary." He smiles and kisses the top of her hair. "See you in hell."_

--

"And you thought little Sammy was the freak. And least his talent is you know, god given…or _whatever_, human. You're better. You're never gonna break 'cause now your daddy's little prince again."


	2. Never Say Die

**Never Say Die**

_Summary: Sam's been thinking and he needs Dean to make a promise._

_--_

"Dean, I've been thinking about this." Sam said, using that 'I got a full ride to Stanford' tone that bugged the hell out of his brother.

Dean sighed, always the know it all. "And you've concluded…" Dean looked at his with a smirk, "Time's past due for you to get a haircut?"

Sam smiled, "So, I take it you'll be updating that cassette collection?"

"When hell freezes over and pigs fly."

"Exactly."

Dean grinned, god, he had really missed this when Sam was away at school. He didn't realize how lonely it really had been, until Sam came back. The last year hunting wasn't so much doing the job but…fun. Like when they were kids.

"Dean." Sam had the serious look on his face, and that always worried Dean. Especially now.

"Okay," Dean sighed, so much for the fun. "What genius conclusion have you come to Eisenstein?"

"You're right." Sam told him—admitted to him.

"Dude," Dean looked at him, mock-insulted, then grinned, "Of course. I'm older, and that means I'm _always_ right."

"Dean, could you be serious for one minute?"

Dean looked at Sam, saw that he really did look like he had something serious to say, and turned down the music. "Yeah, Sammy, Okay…what?"

"About what you said. About what I could become."

"If you're back on that Sam I swear…You're not going to become damn anything except the acute pain in my ass _you already are. _Just drop it."

"I can't. Dean, this is important. You're right okay, I have to fight this. Whatever it is."

Dean nodded his head in agreement. "Damn straight…and you don't have to worry, I'm right here looking out for you."

"I know. That's why this is important. Dean, if I don't—

"Sam, c'mon, man please don't start this again."

"I want you to promise me Dean, if I do turn into something…something I'm not. You have to do it okay, you have to kill me."

"Sam, you're not going to. And you can't ask me to do that."

"I know." Sam said quietly. "But I am. Dean, you promised that you'd always look out for me; I need you to do this, okay. Please."

Dean ignored the request, all he could feel was his insides churning. What was he going to do if…No! He refused to even entertain the possibility that it could happen.

"You're going to turn evil, or into some kind of demon Sam." Dean forced a laugh, "God, you are way too much of a goody two shoes for that."

"We're talking about the possibility, Dean. And what happens if and when…we both need to be prepared for the possibility…

"The only possibility I need to be prepared for is that we might need to stop to buy salt before we burn Sarah Marshall's corpse."

"We have to talk about this Dean. What are you going to do? Just let me turn into some demon and kill innocent people? You can't let me do that Dean, I don't want to be a demon."

"You won't." He wouldn't let it happen…it couldn't because he didn't think he could survive it.

"I need you to Dean, I need you to promise me you will or…" And unspoken threat hung in the air.

"Or what?" Dean questioned.

"Or I'll do it myself." Sam told him. "I'm not turning into a monster Dean, you promise me that you'll do it for me…or I'll do it myself."

Dean felt his blood run cold at Sam's statement. He pulled over the impala, he couldn't drive and do this all at the same time. He could barely breathe and do this at the same moment.

"You don't mean that, Sammy."

"Promise me." Sam demanded. "Or I don't see another alternative, Dean."

It was sort of like suffocating on air. It was a new experience for him…like all the air was crushing in on him.

"Promise me that you'll save me Dean. That if I turn into a monster you won't let me hurt anyone. That you'll kill me before it ever happens."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could will all of this away. How could he believe that Sam was good, and promise to protect him, and do everything he promised his dad, and more importantly, his mom—that he would always look out for Sammy—if he promised to kill him.

Dean nodded his head, refusing to look at Sam. Because he wasn't going to cry. And if he looked at Sam, begging him to protect him…he wouldn't be able to not cry.

"I promise."

He felt like he failed all of them with those two words. His dad, his mom, and Sam.

Sam nodded his head, satisfied with the answer he'd received.

Dean put the car in drive, and Sam spoke again.

"I need you to promise me one more thing, Dean." Sam told him.

Dean scrubbed a hand across his face in frustration…god, more than anything else right now, he wanted to find some evil son of a bitch to kill.

"What?" He replied, exasperatedly. Anything but terrified, anything but facing the reality that he might actually have to make good on his promise to Sam.

"Dean, I need you to be okay. When—

"If." Dean corrected sharply, "_If_, Sam."

Sam just nodded his head. "I need you to be okay, Dean. Promise me that you'll be okay after…if you have to do it."

Dean shook his head. "I can't do that Sam."

"Dean, you promised to do anything for me."

"I know. I don't care…you can't ask me to that and to…you can't."

"Dean, you're my brother…I don't want you to blame yourself. You need to be okay if this happens."

Dean forced a smile for Sam's benefit. "Don't worry Sammy…You know me. I'm always all right."

Dean looked away and turned up his stereo, determined to forget about everything they'd just talked about.

"You know," He said, "We're passing through Minnesota. What do you say we take a look at the world's biggest ball of twine?"

"You're…serious?"

"Like a heart attack. C'mon, we see the biggest ball of twine, and I hear they have the best apple pie in the continental US."

Sam sighed, "And the hunt?"

"Sarah Marshall isn't hurting anyone…she can wait a day or two. A hyper housekeeping ghost isn't hurting anyone…'cept maybe a few dust bunnies."

Sam grinned, and pulled out the map. Who knew…just maybe Dean would be right, and everything would turn out okay.


	3. Tomorrow, Today, & Everday

_**Tomorrow, Today, and Everyday**_

_Summary: another…'what is the connection between mary and yellow eyes?' fic, that's grown into some Wee!Chester fluff._

**--**

"John…John, I'm going to bed now." Mary told her husband, she hoped he heard her and got the hint, though she doubted it. Whenever those damn baseball games were on it was near impossible to tear him away from the TV.

As she had guessed, he didn't hear her--or if he did he was ignoring her.

"John Winchester are you even listening to a word I'm saying?" Mary stood there with her hands on her hips and looked much, much younger than her twenty-seven years.

John turned to look at her a guilty look across his face as he saw the annoyed look his wife was giving him.

"I'm sorry," He said getting up from his chair and giving her the puppy dog eyes that just made her melt. "As soon as the game is over…"

"I know you John Winchester…" Mary laughed as his lips grazed her neck with soft kisses. "You aren't going to make me less angry with you for working on that dumb car all day."

"Speaking of the car…I've got it all fixed, how about a drive tomorrow. Sarah could baby-sit Sam and Dean…we can have a day out…what do you say?"

Sarah was the only person on earth that Mary trusted outside of her family to watch her children, and John knew it well.

Mary smiled, giving into John. She could never stay mad at him for long...it was one of the qualities that she'd already realized Dean had developed. A little smile and a hug, and the little boy was so sure he would be off the hook--and it usually worked.

"Okay, I'll give her a call."

John kissed her, "Goodnight."

--

Five years and there was so much that she still hadn't told her husband.

Like about the nightmares that were so much more than nightmares.

The man with the yellow eyes that came to her in her dreams—and sometimes she thought maybe it wasn't just in her dreams—and threatened Sam and Dean.

_You or them, _she heard his voice in her head all hours of the days sometimes.

And her reply was always, always the same.

_I'd die first._

--

"Mommy, I don't want you to go without me." Dean declared.

Mary handed him his juice box, and gave him a kiss. "Its only for a little while."

"I don't care. I want to come. I don't want to stay with stupid Sammy, and Sarah."

"Oh," Sarah smiled knowingly, "I'm stupid now, am I Dean?"

Dean shook his head. "No, just Sam. But I want to go with Mommy and Daddy."

"Dean Winchester, you know you're not supposed to use that kind of language." John reminded him. "You're a big brother now, its your job to set an example for Sam, and to look out for him."

Dean glanced down at Sam gurgling in the play pen. "Tomorrow?"

Mary couldn't hold back a laugh. "Today. Everyday." She told him.

Dean frowned, "Fine. I will. But I still want to come."

"Even more than you want to help me make cookies?" Sarah asked. "I can't do it with out a big boy helper, and Sammy's too little to help, Dean."

Dean was torn now, and it was visible on his face.

"Its only for a few hours." Mary told him, "And then Daddy and I are coming back, and we'll go home and have fun, okay?"

"Daddy, you'll play catch with me?"

John smiled, "That's right. I'll come back and we'll play catch."

Dean nodded his head, letting it all sink in. "Okay, you can go. Just don't forget."

The adults all held back laughter now that they'd finally been given 'permission'.

John gave him a hug, and kissed his cheek. "Behave, try not to give Sarah too hard of a time, and watch out for Sam."

Mary did the same. "We'll be back soon, sweetie."

Once they were gone, Dean turned to Sarah.

"Ready to make some tasty cookies?"

Dean nodded his head solemnly.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

Dean shrugged. "I just…I miss mommy and daddy when they leave."


	4. The Time InBetween

**The Time In-Between**

* * *

He'd always hunted for his family.

But once your parents are dead, and your brother is the anti-christ why should he bother to fight it? Why doesn't he just give in to the evil.

If he did, it could stop. Sam promised him. If he just gives in to the evil, all the pain stops. No more beatings, no more being cut open and strangled nearly to death with his own intestines. He wants to, he wants to give in so bad; but not because its the easy way out.

He could have taken the easy way out a long time ago with a gun pointed to his head when his brother became evil..but he didn't.

--

He was lying on the floor, his own blood congealing around him, when Sam returned. It was one thing he could count on, Sam always came back. No matter how badly he'd beaten him, how close to death he'd brought him, Sam came back.

It was the coming back that saved him from giving in. Every time Sam came back he saw what he was.

Not Sam.

It was all him...except for the eyes. The demon in Sam had taken over and he didn't see the eyes that he looked into and promised to protect until forever.

That was why he didn't give in; because Winchesters don't give in to demons.

Because Sam was dead, but he couldn't kill the monster with Sam's face either, so he was just going to wait until it killed him.


	5. Mother Knows Best

_**Mother Knows Best**_

_inspiration's bit me in the butt tonight, so here's another one. pre-series._

* * *

Mary had seen the girl before, in her dreams.

"But who was to say they're dreams?" the girl asked, "You don't _really _think they're just _dreams _do you? You know the truth."

She did know the truth.

"What do you want?"

Alone in her son's nursery and she was confronted with a kind of evil she'd pushed herself into believing didn't exist. She didn't want it to exist, because if one of them did, they all did; and if any of them existed...she was scared.

"To help you."

"I don't want your help. None of your help...I-I know what you are."

"No." She said flatly, "You have no idea who I am, if you did, you'd be begging me for my help."

"You're evil."

"No." She corrected, lifting her glance up so that she was even with Mary's. Her eyes flashed black, then returned to normal. "I'm a demon."

Her grandmother taught her exorcisms as a girl, and after a while, she'd thought it was a joke. She thought lying about her dreams would mean she'd be okay. That she'd be safe from what she saw.

"Demons are evil."

She was so sorry now.

"I'm a demon who wants to help you." She continued, ignoring the comment. "You're in trouble, you're whole family is in trouble."

It was Sam. She had seen it in her dreams. They wanted her son but she wouldn't let any of them have him.

"You want my son."

"You're not listening." The humans were so frustrating she could barely bear it. "If you don't listen to me, you're going to die. You're all going to die--except for Sam. He wants Sam real bad."

"You have to leave." Mary told her. When one comes they all do, her grandmother's lessons flashed through her mind constantly anymore, at least the ones she still remembered did.

"I'm trying to save your lives. Get your husband, get your kids, and get the hell out of here. If you don't, its going to be the apocolapse. Literally. you're son is going to be the anti-christ and we have a small window to stop it from happening."

"Its not real. None of this is real." Mary shook her head, this couldn't be happening.

"You don't think this is real? Join us in the real world. You're marked and I am the only chance you have of saving your family, your _son_. You want to wait, not do anything...he's going to be a demon."

"Like you."

"Except he won't be running around saving people's asses. He's going to kill, and its going to be ugly. If we save him though...he's going to save us all."

"Your a demon, why would you help?"

"I'm selfish. My chances are a hell of a lot better with him, than the other one."

"True, isn't it Ruby"

She turned in the direction of the voice.

Mary wanted to turn away but couldn't, she was drawn to him.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." The man with yellow eyes, the man that had been in her dreams since she was a little girl turned to look at her. "Everything's going to be just perfect."

He grabbed the blonde girl by her hair and before she knew it, he had plunged a knife deep in her stomach.

**--**

When Mary awoke, she was glad it had just been a nightmare.


	6. a perfect circle

**A Perfect Circle**

* * *

**Summary: Bobby was there, John wasn't. Tag to NRFTW**

* * *

He was getting too old for this, Bobby decided, as he caught the strain of a primal, terrified scream, and Sam was too damn young.

John was the lucky one, he concluded. He'd mourned a loss, sure. Hell, Bobby knew what it felt like to lose the other half of you…that wasn't the sort of loss that you ever come back from.

Bust John was the lucky one—he wasn't the one who had to watch the downfall of his boys.

_Blood isn't everything._

He loved them like the sons he never had, and once upon a time thought he would. He figured it was the only sane explanation for why he stuck around to help them fight, even after he realized it was helpless and they were all just falling down a trail of sorrow, and loss, and a pile of what if's.

John didn't see the beginning. He did see the fear that both sons kept buried deep, to only occasionally breach the surface, when they became terrified that just maybe Sam's destiny couldn't be prevented.

John didn't watch Sam die, or see Dean awkwardly cradling his baby brother's lifeless body in his arms, whispering a barely spoken mantra of

_I'msorrysammyI'msosorry_

John never had to watch Dean stay up for _days_

Sun up.

Sun down.

Sunrise.

Sunset.

Days straight, staring at Sam sometimes saying nothing for hours and hours, other times reminiscing, other times promising to put it right.

_But he couldn't, not really._

And neither could he.


End file.
